In the Beginning, There was Nautical Erica

Let's start here, since this seems to be the best place to start since its the beginning. For about a year I've been thinking about how my brain works. Not the scientific part with chemicals and electricity or the id or anything Freudian like that. It's more the day to day and month to month patterns that I started paying attention to because there is definitely a pattern. It changes with the weather, which from what I can tell is the main factor though there are exceptions, like what I'm reading or watching on Netflix.

These things are what I like to call my current obsessions, though they're more like states of mind because I'm not actively thinking about them all the time. Its more like there are multiple versions of myself inside my brain and they take turns doin' their thing. But its not like I act differently. Let me explain.

For the last few weeks I've been Nautical Erica. I want to be on a boat all the time. I want to wear navy blue and white. I want to read books about traveling the sea and visiting tropical islands. This Nautical Erica usually comes out in early spring, when the anticipation of summer is too much and I start reading my Herman Melville books again. And anything about people sailing around big empty oceans on the hunt for something. Anything. After a long winter I think anyone has some sort of longing for more temperate climes. My longing works it's way into my imagination so much that as I lay in bed at night, I imagine that I'm on a sailboat anchored near the coast of some island with coconut palms leaning toward the sea, swaying in a warm breeze, with small waves lapping against the hull of my floating home.

Because I'm actually in Queens, it takes some meditating to imagine this, but I do and I believe it for the few minutes before I fall asleep. When I get up I make a smoothie (sorry Robyn) with mango, banana and coconut milk that I have in my kitchen because Nautical Erica went to the grocery store the other day. I get dressed in my Diamond Lake sailing club T-shirt and go to class, where I'm a 9 minute walk to the ocean, but I never see it. I live on an island, but besides the fact that I take a train beneath the "tidal estuary" (the east river) between this island and another one 4 times a day, I never see the water. Yes, I like to call it what it is. The east tidal estuary.

Today I went outside and it was the most beautiful day yet this year. It smelled like fresh cut grass and the ocean. (And dog pee). But I could smell the ocean and as I walked down the street I was really glad that I happen to be Nautical Erica right now because if I was any other Erica (that I'll soon tell you about), it wouldn't have been so perfect.

I'm glad that Nautical Erica is here, and I'm sure I'll be Nautical Erica until August, when Midwest Erica usually appears. It only makes sense, because I'll get to do so many more Nautical Erica things in the next few months. And don't worry, I'll take you with me when I do.